I remember the first time we met it was like a miracle..
Made our way downtown.. Holding hands together..
The sun shone.. And I had no reason to cry..
My phone was my world.. my world was you.. 

I didn't think that you'd mean this much to me..
Back to the tragedy..Thousands times..
You pull then push.. pull then push.. 
I didn't know why.. but I still feel the same..

Couldn't you see that you affect me this much ??
Sitting here.. seeing you there...
Blaming each other on social media..
Smiling so suddenly when I thought of you..

Put my headsets on.. Let Taylor Swift whispers..
Ignore the world.. 

I don't know how strong the power is..
I don't know either how to kick it out and throw it away..
It's beautiful yet painful..
I just wanna say I'm simply missing you..
But you will just ignore and come again sometimes..

Aku senang.. Aku gembira... Aku bahagia...
Well, seringkali... Mama, ato orang-orang di sekitar aku marahin aku...
* lho ? marahin kenapa ?? *
Marahin.. yang sebetulnya sering aku gaseneng ketika aku dimarahin tersebut..
Mereka marahin aku karena aku ngelakuin hal-hal yang harusnya orang lain lakuin...
I don't know... When I was trapped in that kind of situation..
Aku selalu tergerak untuk bantu... apapun itu.. gausah disuruh... seperti untuk Tuhan..

Tapi hari ini aku sadar...
Betapa aku ngebuang semua tenaga itu... ( memang seperti untuk Tuhan ngelakuinnya )
Tanpa pernah disadari dan dihargai sedikitpun...

Aku baru ngerti yang mama aku omongin..

" Lakukan saja bagian kamu.. "

Aku ngebandel... dan terus ngelakuin yang bukan bagian aku...

Well, terkadang orang susah untuk ngeliat apa yang selama ini aku lakuin buat mereka... dan seringkali mereka melecehkan, bahkan mungkin salah sangka...


Aku selalu senang ketika aku bisa berguna bagi orang lain...

Aku senang karena nama Tuhan dipermuliakan..

Tapi mereka ga menghargai kasih karunia yang Tuhan kasih lewat aku..

Mereka melecehkan, mencibir, ngomongin, menusuk dari belakang...

Sehingga disinilah aku sekarang... baru sadar akan semuanya...

Aku buka blog ini dan buat post ketika aku ngerasa sedih banget...

" Tuhan, kasihan mereka.. beri mereka kesadaran "

Well, sementara ini aku menjauh dulu dari Facebook... hati aku ga enak...

Banyak hal yang sebenernya bikin aku sedih di dunia maya...
Oh God !!!! take my burdens please !!!!!!! take 'em all !!!!!!!

Seengganya dengan nulis post ini hati jadi leeeebihhh legaaaaaaaaaaaa.... :)

" Thx Jesus, for what had happened earlier... thx.. I know there's a good side behind all these messy stuffs.. Forgive me for being such a insensitive and egoistical person... And pity them.. God into Your hands I give all my burdens... I feel sorry for them... In the name of Jesus.. Amen "

Talking about the title.. I bet you know what I mean... tee hee..

I just feel I need to write a post.. then here I am now..

Let's talk about my school first..

It's just like another crazy days there...

The teachers.. the students.. the cats.. *oops* the securities... are still the same..

The hell side is...

THE TEACHERS GAVE ME A FREAKING BUNCH OF ASSIGNMENTS TO DO !!!
Yeah.. it's a common nature of them.. because we begin  to notice the " HOLIDAY " atmosphere in the air..
Videography.. Art.. Environmental Education.. Animation.. and yadda yadda yadda.. etc...

Then finally I started my Ballet and Hip-Hop exercise again.. which had ever delayed for years due to my weight surplus past days..
I did the lose weight program then I got my old body back.. * Proud of It *
Pirouettes, spins, jumps. splits, tuts, then I had an Idea for trying pointe myself.. kinda crazy but.. I wanna master it badly !!!

Then again.. I can feel my bones through my skin.. conclusion : I feel like I lose my weight again.. drastically.. I don't know... but I'm grateful that I can lose my weight that much.. It's horrible to have many gulps of fat pasta all over your body.. err... I feel lighter than before.. and the ballet thing helps me alot in sports..

The next thing... It's just about 2 weeks before youth camp.. it's a fun thing to do.. I mean preparing the preparation.. guiding the new freshmen... then gathering fund for the Youth Camp.. soo, wish me luck fellas !! :D