Cinta - Koi - Love - 恋

By 12:49 AM

Source : http://bestlovewallpapers.tumblr.com/

Remember all those mushy feelings ?? Butterflies in your stomach, the frantic beat of your heart over a glimpse of your crush. 
I've been there... 
Love ? what is the definition of "romantic" love ? a set of chemical reactions in your brain ? 

Here's my story about my journey in understanding the meaning of  " Love "

I was young, reckless, and pigheaded. I  had no idea about the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship until that time of high school. Several guys asked me out in my junior high years but I had no courage to build a relationship, because my dad was really strict about it. Yeah I had several embarrassing stories about me and my crushes from elementary school until my junior high years. I don't even want to remember those times... no.. thanks. 

My high school years were good, I was a top student that time. 
There was this guy.. from another vocational school, we met in a Christian community retreat. 
He was like the version of Zach Sealer in She's All That chickflick. All of the girls in our Christian community were head over heels for him. I didn't really put my attention on this guy. And.. somehow we ended up together, breaking several people's heart.  I was a potato with unruly hair and moderately overweight. And people were wondering how the heck we ended up together. I could literally feel all those stares that I received from my upperclasswomen. Heck I was afraid that they would silently kill me in my sleep for going out with this guy :'' . 
Lord, I was really in love with this guy, because he was my very first legal boyfriend. He was charming, He had a good voice and He had this talent to charm women. We had to hide the fact that we were going out because my Dad was really strict about dating. One day I gathered up enough courage to tell my Dad, and my Dad wanted me to break up with him. We didn't break up as soon as my dad told me. Things happened.. and we actually broke up because he liked his ex better. 

Okay, that is the summary of my love life in high school. 
I could say that I was hopelessly in love with him I was blinded. When we broke up, I cried every night, I hoped that we could get back together, and all that stupid stuff.  Pathetic wasn't it ? was it love ? I didn't know how to define love. I didn't even know whether what we had was real or just a set  of drama played by two. It seemed like a game of attention, the winner took it all.
I think love cannot be defined by mere words... it can only be felt.. you will automatically acknowledge it once you feel it. When you are in love.. it feels like you want to give this special person all of your attention, and you will feel the selfishness creeps into your soul. You want to see your beloved one gets jealous over some other guy that is close to you. Love is a set of feelings... that cannot be defined. You will feel yourself gets mad over your significant other's chat with random person.

Several sentences that may you understand love, based on my experience :

Love is necessary to continue our species.
Love is often one-sided
Love is sly
Love makes you look stupid
Love makes you happy
Love makes you yearn for someone
Love makes you yearned by someone
Love makes you fight with someone
Love will trigger an ugly feeling called "jealousy"
etcetera... 


I asked several people about love and.. here's the result, most of them are randomly answered. Yeah.. typical ITB students hilariously filled the questionnaire. 

When they were asked " How do you define love ?"
The summary of the answers is :
" Love cannot be defined by words, love is a form of abstraction, and love is just a set of chemical reactions in your brain "
When they were asked "Have you ever been in love ?"
All of them answered "Yes,  I have ever been in love."

When they were asked "Why is it so hard for the male species to confess their love?"
Most of the answered :
" Because male humans are actually afraid of rejection. "

I summarize the answers because they are amusingly absurd , and I couldn't make a chart to display the result tho :'' . Most of them have felt the bittersweet of love, because they were 18-21 years old, so I think they have passed the puberty quite well. 
From the questionnaire, I found that most of the answers were bitter. 
Yeah.. we all know that love can make someone feel wide range of emotions from drowned in ecstasy, randomly smiling, stupidly nervous to suicidal thoughts, painful rejection, inability to focus on other things etc. The bitter memories stay well... and give us lesson in the future. 

But let's not only focused on the bitter things, but also the sweet side of love.

Here's a japanese song called "Koi" from Hoshino Gen



Koi 恋 - Kanji

営みの
街が暮れたら色めき
風たちは運ぶわ
カラスと人々の群れ
意味なんか
ないさ暮らしがあるだけ
ただ腹を空かせて
君の元へ帰るんだ
物心ついたらふと
見上げて思うことが
この世にいる誰も
二人から
胸の中にあるもの
いつか見えなくなるもの
それは側にいること
いつも思い出して
君の中にあるもの
距離の中にある鼓動
恋をしたの貴方の
指の混ざり 頬の香り
夫婦を超えてゆけ
みにくいと
秘めた想いは色づき
白鳥は運ぶわ
当たり前を変えながら
恋せずにいられないな
似た顔も虚構にも
愛が生まれるのは
一人から
胸の中にあるもの
いつか見えなくなるもの
それは側にいること
いつも思い出して
君の中にあるもの
距離の中にある鼓動
恋をしたの貴方の
指の混ざり 頬の香り
夫婦を超えてゆけ
泣き顔も 黙る夜も 揺れる笑顔も
いつまでも いつまでも
胸の中にあるもの
いつか見えなくなるもの
それは側にいること
いつも思い出して
君の中にあるもの
距離の中にある鼓動
恋をしたの貴方の
指の混ざり 頬の香り
夫婦を超えてゆけ
二人を超えてゆけ
一人を超えてゆけ
Koi 恋 - Romaji
itonami no 
machi ga kuretara iromeki 
kazetachi wa hakobu wa 
karasu to hitobito no mure 

imi nanka 
nai sa kurashi ga aru dake 
tada hara wo sukasete 
kimi no moto e kaerunda 

monogokoro tsuitara futo 
miagete omou koto ga 
kono yo ni iru dare mo 
futari kara 

mune no naka ni aru mono 
itsuka mienaku naru mono 
sore wa soba ni iru koto 
itsumo omoidashite 
kimi no naka ni aru mono 
kyori no naka ni aru kodou 
koi wo shita no anata no 
yubi no mazari  hoho no kaori 
fuufu wo koete yuke 

minikui to 
himeta omoi wa irozuki 
hakuchou wa hakobu wa 
atarimae wo kaenagara 

koi sezu ni irarenai na 
nita kao mo kyokou ni mo 
ai ga umareru no wa 
hitori kara 

mune no naka ni aru mono 
itsuka mienaku naru mono 
sore wa soba ni iru koto 
itsumo omoidashite 
kimi no naka ni aru mono 
kyori no naka ni aru kodou 
koi wo shita no anata no  
yubi no mazari hoho no kaori 
fuufu wo koete yuke 

nakigao mo  damaru yoru mo  yureru egao mo 
itsumademo  itsumademo 

mune no naka ni aru mono 
itsuka mienaku naru mono 
sore wa soba ni iru koto 
itsumo omoidashite 
kimi no naka ni aru mono 
kyori no naka ni aru kodou 
koi wo shita no anata no  
yubi no mazari hoho no kaori 
fuufu wo koete yuke 
futari wo koete yuke 
hitori wo koete yuke

Koi 恋 - English Translation

As the evening falls upon bustling streets
People will live it up out there
And the winds carry along
A flock of crows and people
 
Because it no longer holds a meaning
Living is what it's all about
I'm hungry and that's when
I'm gonna go home to you
 
As I grew old enough to get the whole picture
All of a sudden I looked up to the sky
To think that everyone in the world
Started from two people
 
One thing that's in my chest
One thing that will fade away
It's that you are by my side
Always, don't forget
One thing that's inside of you
A heartbeat in the distance
For I'm in love with you
Our tangled fingers, the scent of your cheeks
Let them go beyond husband and wife
 
My ugly thoughts hidden in my mind
Begin to take on colors
And The swans carry along
Amending the unwritten codes
 
I can't help falling in love
Likeness and the void
Because love is to be born
From a single person
 
One thing that's in my chest
One thing that will fade away
It's that you are by my side
Always, don't forget
One thing that's inside of you
A heartbeat in the distance
For I'm in love with you
Our tangled fingers, the scent of your cheeks
Let them go beyond husband and wife
 
Crying faces, silent nights and wavering smiles
Remain like this for evermore
 
One thing that's in my chest
One thing that will fade away
It's that you are by my side
Always, don't forget
One thing that's inside of you
A heartbeat in the distance
For I'm in love with you
Our tangled fingers, the scent of your cheeks
Let them go beyond husband and wife
Let them go beyond two people
Let them go beyond one person

I love the song so so much... I was actually a little bit confused how to interpret the lyrics.. so I asked my Japanese friend, Tetsuro, to summarize the meaning. 
This song is a story of a man that is in love and want to keep the sweetness of love whole despite the ability of time in making the feeling of love fades away.

Mune no naka ni aru mono itsuka mienaku naru mono sore wa soba ni iru koto itsumo omoidashite.

The sentences show the man's hope and feelings of love that outstrips the time.  He makes a reminder for him and his significant other in the future to keep being in love despite the tendency of time in making the feelings fade away. 
That's sweet isn't it ? Love isn't all that bad and bitter.. love is one of essential foundations in life.
Oftentimes we see people get bitter by love, and the bitterness overpowers the good things that it brings. 
Enjoy the feeling of love as one of your quest in life, and if you are hurt by love.. remember that time can heal almost everything. People come and go, some people are destined to stay forever in your life, some people are not. Be good, be positive.

It's okay to be stupid when you are in love because everybody will experience the same thing.

It's okay to cry because of love and seeking comfort everywhere, because love rejection is as painful as heck and nobody is able to bear that alone, otherwise they must be a masochist.

It's okay to be unreasonably happy when it comes to your crush because love ignites a set of chemical reactions in your brain that affect yourself.. a.k.a it messes your thoughts up



Cheers ~


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