By
Grace Aprilia Helena
12:34 AM
experience,
facebook problems,
failures,
Faith,
favoritism,
feeling blessed,
jekyll hyde,
learn everything hard way,
life journey,
living,
mellow
大切な宝物
More than a mere melody...
Things that I couldn't understand..
In my chest, I couldn't understand..
Avoid the void way of feeling..
Acrimony.. from the depth of my soul..
An anathema... the dark side of mine..
Nope.. I'm not Jekyll nor Hyde..
Human is a walking contradiction..
It keeps surfacing.. aspersion...
These tainted souls are trying to blandish me..
Whether it's a boon or misery..
I beg for clemency.....
Forgiveness for my effrontery..
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By
Grace Aprilia Helena
1:17 AM
advice,
arigatou,
comfort,
cries,
Curhat,
Daily Life,
drama,
dramatic,
failures,
Faith,
family,
favoritism,
Gajelas,
growing up,
hope,
life journey,
living,
male and problems,
mother
Long time ago, I thought that family is all about sunshine and rainbow.
Where your mom will love you dearly.
That hurts, I've never felt like I have a pure motherly figure in my life.
Yea I know, she's my mom, she gave birth to me.
My innocence got me again.
And this storm is currently raging.
More than that, more than this..
Sometimes I just want to escape from the reality and go somewhere else.
How does it feel ?
What is marriage ?
Isn't marriage supposed to be something that you cherish for your entire life ?
Because we promise in front of God, under God's name.
I don't get selfishness.
It's heavy, Lord.... Who am I gonna be ? I didn't expect this to be burdensome..
No, I don't get it at all...
How to handle this when I'm this fragile ??
Do I deserve everything ?
Family isn't everything...
Looks could be deceiving...
Blood also.. could be deceiving..
So what is our sole purpose in life ??
Besides glorifying Your name and waiting for You to come..
Let them who pretend to be concerned judge me..
Their slick tongue and fingers will ease this pain for a while...
Comforting words and written comfort..
Just for a while..
Behind my back as usual..
Because we'll never experience hypocrites shortage..
Blood could be a cunning hypocrite...
I'm also a hypocrite myself..
This time will it be different ??
I know You wrote this scenario....
You wrote that this is my own dessert...
Will I be able to pass this ??
You've seen this happened before...
You've been there.... You've been here...
Just don't let me fall... don't let me fall....
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When I was asked to buy some food for dinner, I looked at the night sky.
These times I couldn't help but think about some unfortunate incidents I've experienced this year.
Starting from Opa's funeral, to my Mom's problem.
And now I'm waiting for another announcement
Will I make it through ?
These things shake my faith. Lord, will I make it through ??
I feel this pang in my chest. This year.. A lot of problems.
Everything seems fine back then, I want to make it through, I don't want to lose my faith.
Lord, give me strength.
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